I needed a plan — Carrie Contey, PhD

In my last blog, I shared how I needed to be honest with myself when it came to the Holiday Season and my own window of tolerance. Today, I will share how I made a clear plan for how I wanted to feel, and how I was going to care for myself through it all.

I had to decide what I was intending for my visit.

I was going to be spending the holidays with family and I knew I wanted to be kind and present and loving. I also knew that if I stayed in the mix too long I would get irritable and withdrawn.

I needed a plan.

By this point in my life I was aware of how my own self-care influenced the quality of my time with loved ones. So, I decided that I would be mindful of doing three things for myself most days while I was visiting for the holidays:

>> Something physical - This was anything from a little bit of stretching in front of the fireplace while watching a movie with my mom to a long walk in the woods. The latter gave me more but the former still gave me a boost.

>> Something spiritual - Meditation goes a long way with me. Even if I can only get in two minutes, it's worth it. Sometimes I could get in 15 minutes right before falling asleep but some days not. Either way, I tried to at least close my eyes, pat my heart and take a few deep breaths when I was heading into a gathering OR sensed myself getting overdone.

>> Something emotional - This is where the check in prompts come in. Taking the time to stop, go inward and listen to myself helped (and still helps) immensely with staying steady when I'm socializing a lot.

@carrieconteyphd I was going to be spending the holidays with family and I knew I wanted to be kind and present and loving. I needed a plan #holiday #selfcare ♬ original sound - Carrie Contey